Surviving Summer Television

Jim Halpert couldn't find the right moment in Season 4 of The Office to propose to Miss Pamela Morgan Beesly. Ted Mosby, Architect DID propose to Sarah Chalke's guest starring character, Stella in How I Met Your Mother's season finale. Lost fans have once again been twisted around by the ever changing plot, and Prison Break continues to find people needing to escape prison.

But now what?

We are stuck in the 3 month torture chamber that is summer television. With our favorite sitcoms and dramas taking a break, we now must resort to the ridiculousness that is reality television, and primetime fillers. Without further ado, I now present a glance into what we will be watching once the dog days of summer hit, by network...

ABC has decided to become network television's answer to Spike TV. In addition to our favorite reality shows like The Bachelorette and The Mole (if I were to watch a reality show on any of these channels, it would probably be The Mole), ABC has decided to take a cue from G4TV and Spike TV by copying Japanese television. Not only are we going to experience "I Survived a Japanese Game Show", where Americans actually go to Japan and compete on their shows, but we are going to get our very own MXC clone, "Wipeout". Yes, I will probably watch "Wipeout". But probably only when I am bored out of my mind.

In my opinion, CBS might have pulled me in for their summer season more than any other network. They did this by following the two most important rules of new television series: 1) Sex sells, and 2) When in doubt, find Regis and make a game show.
The most intriguing new program on TV is Swingtown, a drama based in the 70s about "swingers". So basically, that means a lot of sex with a lot of different people. Lots of sex = Lots of viewers.
CBS then hit the game show jackpot by bringing back a little game called password. "Million Dollar Password" puts two contestants against each other as they give and receive clues to and from a different duo of celebrities each week, attempting to correctly guess the "password". With Regis hosting, and celebrity pairings such as Neil Patrick Harris and Rachel Ray (the premiere pairing), you have an instant hit. Watch out "Deal or No Deal".

Since the start of American Idol, Fox has decided to ditch the classic sitcom/drama model, and has pretty much gone exclusively into reality shows. Yes, we have 24, Prison Break, House, etc. but we know where Fox is making its money, and they are going to stick with the shows that cost the least while bringing in the most. That being said, the show I recommend from Fox this summer is "So You Think You Can Dance". I have always had rhythm, and am not afraid to move around a bit - I could probably go on the first stage of this show and not be embarrassed - but I would also not be invited to the next round because the dancers on this show not only have rhythm, but are also well choreographed and well versed in multiple forms of dance. If you have ever watched a Michael Jackson music video and were wowed by some of his moves, then check this show out (if you already haven't).

Let's be honest here...if it weren't for "Comedy Night Done Right", NBC might be completely down the tubes. Guess what NBC?!? American Gladiators was cool in the 1980s. It is a cool rerun show. But I am not going to watch it more than twice this summer. If NBC wants to do a show about Americans badasses, then work with G4TV, find a way to get Ninja Warrior into the U.S., and watch Americans go against a tough course.
On the Ninja Warrior subject, that is probably the only Japanese show that can really translate to America, because it doesn't really rely on the goofy people looking stupid. Yes, those people are fun to watch splash in the water, but I would much rather see the guys who can do the tough stuff, and have a shot at winning. This is why CBS is going to have a tough time with their new shows. Without the Japanese dubbing, it won't be funny after one or two episodes.
I should also mention that America's Got Talent is back, but that is another rip off show...

NBC, get your act together...I don't want you to fail and then have to cancel some of the best comedies of all-time...

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Two quick notes:

1) I am probably going to end up losing a ton of money this summer, because I have become addicted to horse racing. I've been to the track 3 times now in two weeks, and I have cashed at least one ticket each time. This Saturday, I cashed a $0.10 superfecta ticket for $89.89. I'm beginning to feel like I know what I'm doing, which is the worst thing that could happen because that's when you start to bet more money than you should.

2) Celtics vs Lakers. Tonight. Don't miss it.

Update: Big Win by the C's. Yes, they stopped playing defense in the 4th quarter, and allowed the Lakers to have their own little 3-point shootout, but when you build a big enough lead after 3 quarters, you don't necessarily have to play better than the opponent in the 4th quarter.

Enjoy the summer television.

Ryan